I was given an amazing gift last night.
For the past couple of weeks, I've been spending inordinate amounts of time at coffee shops, mostly for the use of their internet (as ours has been extremely unreliable), but with the added allure of the bottomless cup of coffee. A lot of my job for the church can feel relatively isolated - a ton of communication, but mostly over email - not a lot of actual personal interaction. So being at a coffee shop at least gives me the chance to be around people. The baristas mostly know what I'll order depending on what time I walk in, and how hot it is outside. Several of them know my name, and pieces of my story. This isn't a bad thing. It's kind of a nice small town thing, actually.
But it's still lonely, a little bit, sitting there at my usual table, working, by myself. I'm working 60-65 hours a week this summer, between both of my jobs, so working is pretty much all I do. I know this is neither healthy, nor sustainable. But because of the accident and its associated bills, and because my expenses will go up just as my income goes down when my second job comes to an end in less than two months, I don't have a lot of choice. It's one of those moments in time when this usually independent woman is tempted to sigh and admit that it would be awfully nice if Mr. Darcy showed up right about now. But it seems fairly obvious that he isn't going to, and life goes on and bills must be paid, so off to work - a lot - I go.
Yesterday, halfway thru a day which for various reasons involved frequent and extremely frustrating interruptions to my workflow, leaving me to face yet another evening at a coffee shop, just to finish the things that absolutely had to get done, I received an email from a friend, offering me an alternative place to work that night. So I said yes, and showed up around seven.
To find that he'd made me an "office." Granted, it was a kitchen table and a chair in the middle of a room under construction, but for three and a half hours I was given a space in which to work that was quiet and uninterrupted, a space I felt totally at home in - with a friend nearby who sees what my life is like right now and wanted to do something to help make it better, and did. He even brought me dinner (which I mostly forgot to eat because I was working). And I don't really know how to explain why it mattered so much - I mean, it was just a room and a couple of hours, right? But that space became sacred for those few hours, because of the love and the thoughtfulness behind the gesture. The fact that someone cared enough to do something so simple and practical and kind - something that rescued me from my routine and reoriented me to the truth that as lonely as it feels sometimes, I am not, actually, in this alone - that mattered. A lot. It pretty much made my day, actually.
So thanks, friend. I don't know if you knew how amazing the gift of your time, your thoughtfulness and the use of that space would be - you probably did. I mean, you know everything. But in case you didn't... Thanks for giving me a place to be, for the privilege of calling you my friend, and for making me feel so incredibly cared for. (You're really good at that.)
250 awesome friend points. (You win.)
Showing posts with label simple felicity: community. Show all posts
Showing posts with label simple felicity: community. Show all posts
random ramblings, vol. 12
it's been a month and a half (or more)? how did that happen (again)?
so, quickly! without further ado: random ramblings, vol. 12:
1) on the gift of this rainy Sabbath Saturday, i've spent a lovely afternoon catching up on my blog crawl. as ever, there was so much wisdom and encouragement to be found! here are just a few of the posts i'd recommend:
- for those going through a tough season in ministry and feeling the weight of their calling: Carrying My Cross, by Kathryn over at Good in Parts (i also loved her post on Mothering Sunday)
- wondering if that simple act of kindness you felt compelled toward will really matter? it will. check out this awesome video in Robb's post about Kindness
- on prayer and authenticity: hey, i'll pray for you by T at exfake.com
- on pretty-ing up the clutter (can't wait to borrow this idea for my desk!): Simple Clutter Buster: A Kids' Art Center from Wendy at The Shabby Nest
- on the creative process: 5 Brainstorming Techniques I Stole For You by Carlos Whittaker at Ragamuffin Soul
- for your theological entertainment: John vs. John: Stop the Presses: John Piper Thinks Christianity Is Masculine - John Stackhouse responds to yet another poorly argued point by John Piper (who does, by the way, love Jesus and means well, even when he (somewhat frequently) misses it, like the rest of us often do)
- for further theological entertainment: Moses Was A Wuss & Potential Viral Sensation by Aaron Earls, guest-posted on Jon Acuff's Stuff Christians Like
2) this year has been ... well, insane. as usual. in somewhat unusual ways. but its chief blessing thus far has been an absolutely unexpected and amazing friendship with an incredible man who speaks life, truth, encouragement and freedom into me on pretty much a daily basis. #blessedbeyondmeasure
in truth: i'm not entirely sure i believe him when he says he gets a great friendship out of this, too - he's sure as heck seen a lot more of my dark side than i have of his! - but i am truly grateful for the gift that his friendship has become - and it's been a gift straight from heaven, no mistake
3) for the first time in years, i am taking a road trip with Jesus AND people. lol. a few of us are heading south for the first two days of spring break to the Catalyst conference in Alpharetta, GA. can't wait - both for the fun that 28+ hours in a van with 5 soon-to-be-dearer friends will be, and for the breath of life and inspiration that the conference itself will be to our leadership team!
4) book reviews pending - i'm reading (or have read and not yet blogged about) a ton of inspirational stuff right now, and am looking forward to reviewing these books for you shortly:
Close Enough To Hear God Breathe - by Greg Paul
How I Changed My Mind About Women In Leadership - by a collection of prominent evangelicals
Sacred Unions, Sacred Passions: Exploring The Mystery of Friendship Between Men and Women - by Dan Brennan
5) Sabbath - can i just tell you how grateful i am for this day?! because i am.
6) introvert meets pastoral ministry: ugh. and ... oh, wow. at the same time. and not necessarily always in that order. had an absolutely wonderful time last night, hanging out with two of my closest friends and a new friend: a woman from my church i'd only ever talked to once, but have found in such a short span of time to be such a kindred spirit. can't wait to spend more time with her and her amazing family. (after i recover from that many hours in the presence of actual people...) ;-)
7) food. is. awesome.
there's nothing like fasting for an extended period of time to make you appreciate the nutritional gift and visible beauty that food does actually hold. i am more grateful (halfway thru this current fast) for protein, color, and taste than i have been in a very long time. looking forward to the wonderment that comes every summer during weekly trips to Stade's Farm, and to celebrating on every Sabbath Saturday the beauty of creation reflected in anything as simple and complex as the amazing meal we call "dinner"...
and there you have it. random ramblings - (almost) concluded.
except i do have one final thing to say:
8) my friend-whom-i-have-never-met, Barry, paid me the highest compliment a few weeks ago (see the comments section of his post). when i first "met" Barry, he was blogging at Honest Faith. now he blogs at Atheos (Godless). both blogs are well worth your time, regardless of what you believe.
so, quickly! without further ado: random ramblings, vol. 12:
1) on the gift of this rainy Sabbath Saturday, i've spent a lovely afternoon catching up on my blog crawl. as ever, there was so much wisdom and encouragement to be found! here are just a few of the posts i'd recommend:
- for those going through a tough season in ministry and feeling the weight of their calling: Carrying My Cross, by Kathryn over at Good in Parts (i also loved her post on Mothering Sunday)
- wondering if that simple act of kindness you felt compelled toward will really matter? it will. check out this awesome video in Robb's post about Kindness
- on prayer and authenticity: hey, i'll pray for you by T at exfake.com
- on pretty-ing up the clutter (can't wait to borrow this idea for my desk!): Simple Clutter Buster: A Kids' Art Center from Wendy at The Shabby Nest
- on the creative process: 5 Brainstorming Techniques I Stole For You by Carlos Whittaker at Ragamuffin Soul
- for your theological entertainment: John vs. John: Stop the Presses: John Piper Thinks Christianity Is Masculine - John Stackhouse responds to yet another poorly argued point by John Piper (who does, by the way, love Jesus and means well, even when he (somewhat frequently) misses it, like the rest of us often do)
- for further theological entertainment: Moses Was A Wuss & Potential Viral Sensation by Aaron Earls, guest-posted on Jon Acuff's Stuff Christians Like
2) this year has been ... well, insane. as usual. in somewhat unusual ways. but its chief blessing thus far has been an absolutely unexpected and amazing friendship with an incredible man who speaks life, truth, encouragement and freedom into me on pretty much a daily basis. #blessedbeyondmeasure
in truth: i'm not entirely sure i believe him when he says he gets a great friendship out of this, too - he's sure as heck seen a lot more of my dark side than i have of his! - but i am truly grateful for the gift that his friendship has become - and it's been a gift straight from heaven, no mistake
3) for the first time in years, i am taking a road trip with Jesus AND people. lol. a few of us are heading south for the first two days of spring break to the Catalyst conference in Alpharetta, GA. can't wait - both for the fun that 28+ hours in a van with 5 soon-to-be-dearer friends will be, and for the breath of life and inspiration that the conference itself will be to our leadership team!
4) book reviews pending - i'm reading (or have read and not yet blogged about) a ton of inspirational stuff right now, and am looking forward to reviewing these books for you shortly:
Close Enough To Hear God Breathe - by Greg Paul
How I Changed My Mind About Women In Leadership - by a collection of prominent evangelicals
Sacred Unions, Sacred Passions: Exploring The Mystery of Friendship Between Men and Women - by Dan Brennan
5) Sabbath - can i just tell you how grateful i am for this day?! because i am.
6) introvert meets pastoral ministry: ugh. and ... oh, wow. at the same time. and not necessarily always in that order. had an absolutely wonderful time last night, hanging out with two of my closest friends and a new friend: a woman from my church i'd only ever talked to once, but have found in such a short span of time to be such a kindred spirit. can't wait to spend more time with her and her amazing family. (after i recover from that many hours in the presence of actual people...) ;-)
7) food. is. awesome.
there's nothing like fasting for an extended period of time to make you appreciate the nutritional gift and visible beauty that food does actually hold. i am more grateful (halfway thru this current fast) for protein, color, and taste than i have been in a very long time. looking forward to the wonderment that comes every summer during weekly trips to Stade's Farm, and to celebrating on every Sabbath Saturday the beauty of creation reflected in anything as simple and complex as the amazing meal we call "dinner"...
and there you have it. random ramblings - (almost) concluded.
except i do have one final thing to say:
8) my friend-whom-i-have-never-met, Barry, paid me the highest compliment a few weeks ago (see the comments section of his post). when i first "met" Barry, he was blogging at Honest Faith. now he blogs at Atheos (Godless). both blogs are well worth your time, regardless of what you believe.
Book Review: Sabbath by Dan B. Allender
Dan B. Allender's book on Sabbath explores the Biblical mandate for Sabbath-keeping by looking at the biblical text themselves, exploring some of the history around how God's people have traditionally and creatively celebrated the Sabbath over time, and sharing his own experience with the discipline/joy of keeping the Sabbath. His mission from the very beginning of the book is to dispel both the rule-bound, legalistic perspective and the laissez-faire, "oh-that's-just-the-Old-Covenant" perspective on the Fourth Commandment, and to transform them into a new, joyful anticipation of what the Jews have long referred to as "the Queen of days." (And he succeeded.)
I was encouraged by literally every chapter in the book to rethink my perspective on Sabbath, and to see it not just as a day of rest in which I do absolutely nothing except whatever I feel like doing or as a day off to catch up on housework and run errands, but as a day during which God's kingdom come and coming can and should be experienced more fully. I've taken Allender up on a number of his challenges over the past few months: I've taken a walk with an "enemy" - I've stopped completely retreating from the world and begun to invite people over for dinner - and I've started to plan a little more carefully for the day. Sabbath is no longer just a stopping place at the end of a long week for me, but a deliberate pause in which to celebrate with Him and spend quality time in His word and with His people, enjoying creation, freedom, and time - and looking forward to eternity.
I would highly recommend this book to anyone who's willing to have their life - and perspective - rocked a bit. My response to this book was to literally change the way I structure my time - and it's been an incredibly life-giving change.
Disclosure in agreement with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255 "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising": I received this book for free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.
random ramblings, vol. 9
it's late, but one mocha coconut frappuccino six hours ago might seem to be responsible for that. (there are definitely drawbacks to living largely decaffeinated.) which could have been item number one for this week's edition of random ramblings, but it isn't. (you just get that pointer for free.) ;) so without further ado - MORE random ramblings:
1) i've lately become completely addicted to YA fiction. there are some really good books out there right now. if i ever have the privilege of having daughters, a book i read this week (which i am ashamed to say i almost didn't bring home because of the cover picture - it's a little scary) will be assigned reading during their teenage years. written by a children's librarian (who are, btw, some of the most under-appreciated but most influential teachers of any child's life), this book is a MUST-READ for any girl junior-high or older AND their moms. set in feudal times and dealing with the fantasy world of mermaids vs/and islanders, it subtly but powerfully deals with coming-of-age issues, managing peer pressure, the importance of character over popularity, and self-esteem. all while creating an incredibly believable, historically accurate picture of the feudal system. it was amazing. and the cause of a very short night of sleep this week. i've GOT to stop picking up new stories at night....
(like that's going to happen...)
2) Madeleine L'Engle is still my hero. i'm reading Walking On Water this week, and again, learning so much from her about my faith, art, their interplay, and myself. i cannot wait to spend countless hours in eternity talking with this amazing saint, and am so grateful to her for her transparency and wisdom in all her books, both fiction and non-fiction. her writing and what i've learned from it is part of why i dare to write anything at all, ever. i would have given so much for one meal with her at Crosswicks. someday...
3) i am a horrible correspondent. this is something with which i am slowly coming to terms. i currently have at least EIGHT people who are waiting for long newsy letters. (some of you are among them.) they're coming, really. REALLY. it's just that i can't write shallow personal letters. i suck at them. (and it takes a lot of emotional energy - and time - to produce a non-shallow letter.) so when it finally shows up in your inbox, brace yourself. and schedule at least 1/2 an hour to read it. :) (and if you're not on that list and want one, please leave a comment with your email address. i suggest using the so-and-so (at) such-and-such (dot) com methodology, to avoid spam from web-crawling whatnot. i will add you to the list.) ;) For those of you who ARE on the list already - I promise, I haven't forgotten!!!
4) have i mentioned lately that i'm glad it's summer? there are so many things i am grateful for with the advent of summer:
- a slower pace of life (Thank You, JESUS!!!!)
- sunshine (why do i live in the mid-west again? oh, right. summer)
- road-trips. most notably to Michigan and BFFs in Indiana. plus a variety of others.
5) Sabbath. on-going learning process. on-going revelation. on-going quest. i began a new phase of it today. one of the dimensions of Sabbath which i find to be sorely lacking but incredibly important to/in my life is the dimension of community. the Sabbath was meant to be celebrated together. and to that end, hospitality - which is one of my gifts, but one i do not engage enough - is something i need/want to amp up, especially on Saturdays (my current Sabbath day). so, unto that end - i am investing in new dishes. i know that might sound silly, but the truth of the matter is, a well-set table isn't snobbery to me - it's investment. it's visible proof to my dinner guests that "i'm glad you're here." i'm not going all-out right away - but once a month, i've given myself permission to ditch a few more pieces of the $2 dishes i once owned (but of which i have now succeeded in breaking the majority) in favor of slightly more pricey dinner dishes. i bought 4 dinner plates today. June's purchase will be 4 dessert plates. July's: a 2-tier serving dish. etc. until i have beautiful place-settings and serving dishes for four. (which is all my current table can seat - down the road, that will change, too, i hope!!!) and in the meantime, i intend to (at least once a month) have people over for dinner. which requires cleaning my apartment. which is also on the task list for this weekend. ;)
6) i'm pretty sure that frappuccino is finally wearing off... (yay! just in time for Saturday....) ;)
7) if financial stewardship has EVER been something with which you've wrestled (or especially if it's something you wrestle with now), PLEASE: check out Andy Stanley's podcasts for "Balanced" - via Northpoint Ministries (dot) org. (also available on iTunes). Andy's wisdom is straight from the Lord and from His Word - and most definitely worth pursuing.
So there you have it. Random Ramblings, vol. 9. and on that note - good night! :)
1) i've lately become completely addicted to YA fiction. there are some really good books out there right now. if i ever have the privilege of having daughters, a book i read this week (which i am ashamed to say i almost didn't bring home because of the cover picture - it's a little scary) will be assigned reading during their teenage years. written by a children's librarian (who are, btw, some of the most under-appreciated but most influential teachers of any child's life), this book is a MUST-READ for any girl junior-high or older AND their moms. set in feudal times and dealing with the fantasy world of mermaids vs/and islanders, it subtly but powerfully deals with coming-of-age issues, managing peer pressure, the importance of character over popularity, and self-esteem. all while creating an incredibly believable, historically accurate picture of the feudal system. it was amazing. and the cause of a very short night of sleep this week. i've GOT to stop picking up new stories at night....
(like that's going to happen...)
2) Madeleine L'Engle is still my hero. i'm reading Walking On Water this week, and again, learning so much from her about my faith, art, their interplay, and myself. i cannot wait to spend countless hours in eternity talking with this amazing saint, and am so grateful to her for her transparency and wisdom in all her books, both fiction and non-fiction. her writing and what i've learned from it is part of why i dare to write anything at all, ever. i would have given so much for one meal with her at Crosswicks. someday...
3) i am a horrible correspondent. this is something with which i am slowly coming to terms. i currently have at least EIGHT people who are waiting for long newsy letters. (some of you are among them.) they're coming, really. REALLY. it's just that i can't write shallow personal letters. i suck at them. (and it takes a lot of emotional energy - and time - to produce a non-shallow letter.) so when it finally shows up in your inbox, brace yourself. and schedule at least 1/2 an hour to read it. :) (and if you're not on that list and want one, please leave a comment with your email address. i suggest using the so-and-so (at) such-and-such (dot) com methodology, to avoid spam from web-crawling whatnot. i will add you to the list.) ;) For those of you who ARE on the list already - I promise, I haven't forgotten!!!
4) have i mentioned lately that i'm glad it's summer? there are so many things i am grateful for with the advent of summer:
- a slower pace of life (Thank You, JESUS!!!!)
- sunshine (why do i live in the mid-west again? oh, right. summer)
- road-trips. most notably to Michigan and BFFs in Indiana. plus a variety of others.
5) Sabbath. on-going learning process. on-going revelation. on-going quest. i began a new phase of it today. one of the dimensions of Sabbath which i find to be sorely lacking but incredibly important to/in my life is the dimension of community. the Sabbath was meant to be celebrated together. and to that end, hospitality - which is one of my gifts, but one i do not engage enough - is something i need/want to amp up, especially on Saturdays (my current Sabbath day). so, unto that end - i am investing in new dishes. i know that might sound silly, but the truth of the matter is, a well-set table isn't snobbery to me - it's investment. it's visible proof to my dinner guests that "i'm glad you're here." i'm not going all-out right away - but once a month, i've given myself permission to ditch a few more pieces of the $2 dishes i once owned (but of which i have now succeeded in breaking the majority) in favor of slightly more pricey dinner dishes. i bought 4 dinner plates today. June's purchase will be 4 dessert plates. July's: a 2-tier serving dish. etc. until i have beautiful place-settings and serving dishes for four. (which is all my current table can seat - down the road, that will change, too, i hope!!!) and in the meantime, i intend to (at least once a month) have people over for dinner. which requires cleaning my apartment. which is also on the task list for this weekend. ;)
6) i'm pretty sure that frappuccino is finally wearing off... (yay! just in time for Saturday....) ;)
7) if financial stewardship has EVER been something with which you've wrestled (or especially if it's something you wrestle with now), PLEASE: check out Andy Stanley's podcasts for "Balanced" - via Northpoint Ministries (dot) org. (also available on iTunes). Andy's wisdom is straight from the Lord and from His Word - and most definitely worth pursuing.
So there you have it. Random Ramblings, vol. 9. and on that note - good night! :)
joy in the wilderness: a closer look at Lent
Forty days is a long time.
Almost 6 weeks.
But they could be forty of the most significant days of your life.
There are some days in life that you really wouldn't write home about. But then there are seasons like these:
- "And rain fell on the earth forty days and forty nights." (Genesis 7:12) - Noah
- "When I went up on the mountain to receive the tablets of stone, the tablets of the covenant that the Lord had made with you, I stayed on the mountain forty days and forty nights; I ate no bread and drank no water." (Deuteronomy 9:9) - Moses
- "For forty days the Philistine came forward every morning and evening and took his stand." (1 Samuel 17:16) - right before David showed up with his slingshot
- "....he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God." (1 Kings 19:8) - Elijah
- "Jonah began by going a day's journey into the city, proclaiming, 'Forty more days and Nineveh will be overthrown.'" - (Jonah 3:4) - but all in the city of Nineveh repented during that time instead
And then there was Jesus:
"...for forty days He was tempted by the devil. He ate nothing during those days, and at the end of them He was hungry." (Luke 4:2)
"After His suffering, He presented Himself to them and gave many convincing proofs that He was alive. He appeared to them over a period of forty days and spoke about the kingdom of God." (Acts 1:3)
Forty days can be amazingly significant.
For centuries, the Church has celebrated (yes, celebrated! ) a season called Lent. Lent is the 40 (actually 47) days before Easter, beginning today, Ash Wednesday. It is a season of repentance, a season of wilderness wandering, a season of remembering that without Christ we would still be completely lost and dead in our sin - and celebrating (on those seven extra days especially!) the reality that our sin has been forgiven, our debt has been paid, and we have - if we've proclaimed Jesus as our Lord and Saviour - been made right with God.
6 days of repentance. 1 day of celebrating. 6 days of repentance. 1 day of celebrating. (etc.) - until Good Friday - the darkest day of the Christian year - gives way to the glorious light of Easter Sunday.
The idea of fasting during Lent might be totally new to some of us, but many of us have either come from or heard of traditions that encourage "giving up" something for Lent. If you're tempted to do it just because you think you "ought" to - I'd challenge you to go ahead and give up something anyway - but re-evaluate why you're doing it. Fasting is a very appropriate form of worship and repentance - but God makes it clear in Isaiah 58 that the state of our hearts when we fast is what matters to Him.
Fasting alone isn't enough. It's just a ritual, empty of meaning, if we're not bringing our hearts into our activity. But if we give up something we love - be it television, social media, or some sort of food - for Lent, and we do it as an act of worship, and seek Him instead... Well. Just imagine what could happen. (Read Isaiah 58!)
The next 47 days of your life are packed with promise.
Are you willing to journey with Him through them? Are you willing to take a good hard look at your own sin and repent for it? And are you ready to receive a new revelation of the depth, height, breadth, and length of His grace? Because this is what we celebrate, as we willingly enter a season of wilderness, fasting from things we could have but choose not to, because we know there's something so much better on the other side of this season, if we will wait on Him for it...
----
If you'd like to explore this season of Lent a little more intentionally, or even just add a little more structure to your quiet times, we would love for you to join us in a daily online devotional study from now until Easter Sunday. We'll send you an email every day with a list of suggested Scripture readings and a devotional thought for the day. To sign up, just email me at happy (at) torchchurch (dot) tv.
(cross-posted on the pastor's blog at www.torchchurch.tv)
Almost 6 weeks.
But they could be forty of the most significant days of your life.
There are some days in life that you really wouldn't write home about. But then there are seasons like these:
- "And rain fell on the earth forty days and forty nights." (Genesis 7:12) - Noah
- "When I went up on the mountain to receive the tablets of stone, the tablets of the covenant that the Lord had made with you, I stayed on the mountain forty days and forty nights; I ate no bread and drank no water." (Deuteronomy 9:9) - Moses
- "For forty days the Philistine came forward every morning and evening and took his stand." (1 Samuel 17:16) - right before David showed up with his slingshot
- "....he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God." (1 Kings 19:8) - Elijah
- "Jonah began by going a day's journey into the city, proclaiming, 'Forty more days and Nineveh will be overthrown.'" - (Jonah 3:4) - but all in the city of Nineveh repented during that time instead
And then there was Jesus:
"...for forty days He was tempted by the devil. He ate nothing during those days, and at the end of them He was hungry." (Luke 4:2)
"After His suffering, He presented Himself to them and gave many convincing proofs that He was alive. He appeared to them over a period of forty days and spoke about the kingdom of God." (Acts 1:3)
Forty days can be amazingly significant.
For centuries, the Church has celebrated (yes, celebrated! ) a season called Lent. Lent is the 40 (actually 47) days before Easter, beginning today, Ash Wednesday. It is a season of repentance, a season of wilderness wandering, a season of remembering that without Christ we would still be completely lost and dead in our sin - and celebrating (on those seven extra days especially!) the reality that our sin has been forgiven, our debt has been paid, and we have - if we've proclaimed Jesus as our Lord and Saviour - been made right with God.
6 days of repentance. 1 day of celebrating. 6 days of repentance. 1 day of celebrating. (etc.) - until Good Friday - the darkest day of the Christian year - gives way to the glorious light of Easter Sunday.
The idea of fasting during Lent might be totally new to some of us, but many of us have either come from or heard of traditions that encourage "giving up" something for Lent. If you're tempted to do it just because you think you "ought" to - I'd challenge you to go ahead and give up something anyway - but re-evaluate why you're doing it. Fasting is a very appropriate form of worship and repentance - but God makes it clear in Isaiah 58 that the state of our hearts when we fast is what matters to Him.
Fasting alone isn't enough. It's just a ritual, empty of meaning, if we're not bringing our hearts into our activity. But if we give up something we love - be it television, social media, or some sort of food - for Lent, and we do it as an act of worship, and seek Him instead... Well. Just imagine what could happen. (Read Isaiah 58!)
The next 47 days of your life are packed with promise.
Are you willing to journey with Him through them? Are you willing to take a good hard look at your own sin and repent for it? And are you ready to receive a new revelation of the depth, height, breadth, and length of His grace? Because this is what we celebrate, as we willingly enter a season of wilderness, fasting from things we could have but choose not to, because we know there's something so much better on the other side of this season, if we will wait on Him for it...
----
If you'd like to explore this season of Lent a little more intentionally, or even just add a little more structure to your quiet times, we would love for you to join us in a daily online devotional study from now until Easter Sunday. We'll send you an email every day with a list of suggested Scripture readings and a devotional thought for the day. To sign up, just email me at happy (at) torchchurch (dot) tv.
(cross-posted on the pastor's blog at www.torchchurch.tv)
the fine art of procrastipreparation
It occurred to me a few days ago that it's almost Lent. How did that happen?! Where have the past two months gone?! Wasn't it just Christmas? My tree is still up...
One of the things I'm trying to focus on as I slowly shift into a new way of viewing the Sabbath and adjusting my life to make it a more central practice is preparation. This can be... challenging. Procrastination is something at which I am relatively talented, and it extends to everything from doing my dishes and shredding my junk mail to writing sermons and catching up on correspondence. Being prepared - ahead of time?! - takes a little forethought.
Grocery shopping has generally become something relegated to Saturdays. I confess that since last Lent's discipline of using up the food in my cupboards before buying more, I have become very lax in my attitude and practice towards groceries. I have slipped back into "go to the store and get dinner" mode, instead of planning ahead to what I will eat later this week and shopping for it ahead of time. Cravings often dictate my shopping, rather than discipline. I am not okay with this. I have been - but I'm not. Especially in light of Lent, and in light of longing to experience true Sabbath rest and joy more fully.
Since my Sabbath is on Saturday, I need to find a way to do my shopping on another day. My goal is to have my first Sabbath meal (Friday night) ready and waiting at the end of the day - no preparation required, just coming home and sinking into Sabbath the way you sink into slumber at the end of a good (but long) journey - with joy, relief, celebration, anticipation, and contentment. This past weekend, it just barely happened. I gave up my plans to make a big long trip to the grocery store at which I really ought to be shopping, and spent a lot more money at a closer store buying mostly just what I needed. Dinner went in the crock pot at 11:00am - it was ready by 7:30pm. An hour late, but hey, it's a start, right? ;-) And it was amazing. But shopping on Friday morning felt like the fine art of procrastipreparation. I knew all week I need to shop. I could have dragged myself off the couch and to the store in the middle of the week, but I didn't. I was tired, and I was lazy.
This week, I will not procrastinate in my preparations. I'm actually putting it on the calendar. Tuesday, 7pm: Go grocery shopping. With a list.
Why start with food, on this journey towards keeping the Sabbath better? Well, Sabbath is a celebration - a celebration of the goodness of creation, the creativity of our amazing God, and the beauty of redemption. All good celebrations should involve some sort of a feast - and on the Sabbath, traditionally celebrated by God's people as the "queen" of all days - we should be eating the best meals of the week. Healthful, extravagant, shared.
I'm working on building a balanced schedule of sharing that first Sabbath meal with friends versus simply sharing it with Jesus. And with Lent coming up, it's time (again) to give up all those foods that don't help me at all and to move into a more healthful style of living anyway. So here's to giving up the fine art of procrastipreparation in favor of planning for the Sabbath, and a more healthy lifestyle in general.
One of the things I'm trying to focus on as I slowly shift into a new way of viewing the Sabbath and adjusting my life to make it a more central practice is preparation. This can be... challenging. Procrastination is something at which I am relatively talented, and it extends to everything from doing my dishes and shredding my junk mail to writing sermons and catching up on correspondence. Being prepared - ahead of time?! - takes a little forethought.
Grocery shopping has generally become something relegated to Saturdays. I confess that since last Lent's discipline of using up the food in my cupboards before buying more, I have become very lax in my attitude and practice towards groceries. I have slipped back into "go to the store and get dinner" mode, instead of planning ahead to what I will eat later this week and shopping for it ahead of time. Cravings often dictate my shopping, rather than discipline. I am not okay with this. I have been - but I'm not. Especially in light of Lent, and in light of longing to experience true Sabbath rest and joy more fully.
Since my Sabbath is on Saturday, I need to find a way to do my shopping on another day. My goal is to have my first Sabbath meal (Friday night) ready and waiting at the end of the day - no preparation required, just coming home and sinking into Sabbath the way you sink into slumber at the end of a good (but long) journey - with joy, relief, celebration, anticipation, and contentment. This past weekend, it just barely happened. I gave up my plans to make a big long trip to the grocery store at which I really ought to be shopping, and spent a lot more money at a closer store buying mostly just what I needed. Dinner went in the crock pot at 11:00am - it was ready by 7:30pm. An hour late, but hey, it's a start, right? ;-) And it was amazing. But shopping on Friday morning felt like the fine art of procrastipreparation. I knew all week I need to shop. I could have dragged myself off the couch and to the store in the middle of the week, but I didn't. I was tired, and I was lazy.
This week, I will not procrastinate in my preparations. I'm actually putting it on the calendar. Tuesday, 7pm: Go grocery shopping. With a list.
Why start with food, on this journey towards keeping the Sabbath better? Well, Sabbath is a celebration - a celebration of the goodness of creation, the creativity of our amazing God, and the beauty of redemption. All good celebrations should involve some sort of a feast - and on the Sabbath, traditionally celebrated by God's people as the "queen" of all days - we should be eating the best meals of the week. Healthful, extravagant, shared.
I'm working on building a balanced schedule of sharing that first Sabbath meal with friends versus simply sharing it with Jesus. And with Lent coming up, it's time (again) to give up all those foods that don't help me at all and to move into a more healthful style of living anyway. So here's to giving up the fine art of procrastipreparation in favor of planning for the Sabbath, and a more healthy lifestyle in general.
a shameless plug for what looks like a GREAT movie
Some friends from an era of my life which feels much longer ago than it actually was have been involved in the production of what looks like an INCREDIBLE movie. I will definitely be looking for it when it comes out.
You can check out The Frontier Boys on Facebook or on the official website. :)
You can check out The Frontier Boys on Facebook or on the official website. :)
Book Review: The Heart Mender, by Andy Andrews
Andy Andrews' The Heart Mender is an inspiring story about the power not just of love, but of forgiveness, community and faith. Intertwined with the love story of an American woman and a German soldier during World War II (and with the stories of their friends and neighbors) is a bit of the author's own story, as he uncovers the clues that lead him to discover the romance.
Andrews is a skilled storyteller, and weaves dialogue and description to create vivid and believable characters. The issues with which the characters struggle are real, and the answers to which they come are hard-won - but throughout the book is a firm and unyielding hope and confidence that love will, in the end, triumph. From beginning to end, the storylines illustrate the truth that bitterness and resentment do nothing but continue to wound, while making the choice to forgive can do everything towards bringing healing and hope to a broken heart.
One of the things I most appreciated about this story is that while it is a love story, it doesn't happen in isolation. It blossoms in the context of a community, and affects - and is affected by - that community. I love that. It makes the entire book feel even more true - because in real life, relationships do inevitably happen in the context of community.
I absolutely loved this story. I have actually read it twice now, and already loaned it to a friend. So I am happy to say that Thomas Nelson actually sent me an extra copy to give away on my blog! :) If you're intrigued and would like to read it, please let me know by commenting below. Your names will be entered in a drawing, which will take place a week from Saturday.
Disclosure in agreement with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255 "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising": I received this book for free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.
Andrews is a skilled storyteller, and weaves dialogue and description to create vivid and believable characters. The issues with which the characters struggle are real, and the answers to which they come are hard-won - but throughout the book is a firm and unyielding hope and confidence that love will, in the end, triumph. From beginning to end, the storylines illustrate the truth that bitterness and resentment do nothing but continue to wound, while making the choice to forgive can do everything towards bringing healing and hope to a broken heart.
One of the things I most appreciated about this story is that while it is a love story, it doesn't happen in isolation. It blossoms in the context of a community, and affects - and is affected by - that community. I love that. It makes the entire book feel even more true - because in real life, relationships do inevitably happen in the context of community.
I absolutely loved this story. I have actually read it twice now, and already loaned it to a friend. So I am happy to say that Thomas Nelson actually sent me an extra copy to give away on my blog! :) If you're intrigued and would like to read it, please let me know by commenting below. Your names will be entered in a drawing, which will take place a week from Saturday.
Disclosure in agreement with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255 "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising": I received this book for free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.
waiting. quietly, but with great joy...
It's almost here!
Tomorrow is the first day of Advent, and I have been waiting for this moment for almost two months. No, actually, more like eleven and a half months.... I love Advent.
Some of my best childhood memories are centered around Advent. Decorating the banisters of our New England church sanctuary with real evergreens and red ribbons and candles and a Christmas tree so tall you could barely see the top from the floor. Replacing the green banners of Ordinary Time on the pulpit with the rich purple hues of Advent. Taking a break for soup and crackers with the church family, and eating out of the church's fine china dishes. (Washing and drying all those dishes after lunch!) Making wreaths to take home and hang on our doors. Waking up every morning to open the next little door on the Advent calendar that hung on the cabinet in the kitchen. Watching the colored lights twinkle in our tree. Setting up the Nativity scene on the bookshelf. Putting out our Christmas decorations. Listening to Kenny and Dolly and Amy Grant and Alabama and Bing Crosby and Manheim Steamroller and countless others sing Christmas carols, back in the days when we had actual records and cassette tapes. Wrapping Christmas presents. Popping popcorn and watching Christmas movies. Lighting a candle every Sunday on the altar at church, marking one more theme celebrated, one week closer to Christmas. Wondering why the third candle is pink.
And FINALLY - Christmas Eve. Dressing up, leaving home in the dark. Caroling outside the church for an hour before service for the people passing by and coming to church. Caroling some more indoors. The beauty of the Christmas story read aloud. Hearing a soloist sing "O Holy Night" and hoping that someday I'd get to sing it (one day, finally, I did). Lighting the Christ candle, and then passing the light of Christ's love from candle to candle through our historic church sanctuary and singing Silent Night together acapella. Watching the familiar faces of friends and family shine with the mystery and beauty of it all as we ended our service in quietness, peace, and candlelit wonder.
And now that I'm older, this season has become even more special than the magical memories it held in my childhood. For now I understand, in a way I didn't then, what this season is really all about.
Advent is a season of waiting. A season of joy, hope, peace, love, wonder - and waiting, expectantly, for something to happen. It's the pathway, the journey to Christmas. And with Christmas, comes radiant, amazing, overwhelming love - in the form of a baby boy, born in a stable. The very Son of God, laid in a manger, here to experience all that we do - and to make a way back to God for us.
God waited a long time to send His Son. He waited for the perfect moment. But while He was waiting, He did some things. He wrote it in the stars, that this baby was coming. Remember the Magi, following that star? Think about the fact that light takes time to travel, and that what you see in the sky is actually something that happened a really, really, REALLY long time ago - and think for a moment: God put a star in the heavens that would point the way to His Son AGES before His Son would be born. Does the wonder of it floor you, even just a little bit? He also promised us that a Saviour would come - His prophets foretold His coming, and His people waited, too. And then, finally - He came. And He is coming again.
For these four weeks of Advent we wait. We remember. We hope, dream, imagine, wonder, experience the mystery that is the gift of God's Son, born in the city of David: Christ the Lord. We sing special songs - songs we sing once a year. We celebrate. We give gifts that echo, tho they could never compare with, the Gift that we've been given. We light candles.
We wait. Quietly, but with great joy.
Last year for Advent, my friend Amanda and I did a devotional study together with a book and a website called The Uncluttered Heart, by Beth A. Richardson. We loved it so much that we've invited our church family to go through it with us this year. Nineteen people have signed up so far! We are super-excited about this. :)
And if you want to join us, we'd love that, too. The Uncluttered Heart website has all the info you need to get started.
Hope to see you there!
and Happy Advent-Eve. :)
Tomorrow is the first day of Advent, and I have been waiting for this moment for almost two months. No, actually, more like eleven and a half months.... I love Advent.
Some of my best childhood memories are centered around Advent. Decorating the banisters of our New England church sanctuary with real evergreens and red ribbons and candles and a Christmas tree so tall you could barely see the top from the floor. Replacing the green banners of Ordinary Time on the pulpit with the rich purple hues of Advent. Taking a break for soup and crackers with the church family, and eating out of the church's fine china dishes. (Washing and drying all those dishes after lunch!) Making wreaths to take home and hang on our doors. Waking up every morning to open the next little door on the Advent calendar that hung on the cabinet in the kitchen. Watching the colored lights twinkle in our tree. Setting up the Nativity scene on the bookshelf. Putting out our Christmas decorations. Listening to Kenny and Dolly and Amy Grant and Alabama and Bing Crosby and Manheim Steamroller and countless others sing Christmas carols, back in the days when we had actual records and cassette tapes. Wrapping Christmas presents. Popping popcorn and watching Christmas movies. Lighting a candle every Sunday on the altar at church, marking one more theme celebrated, one week closer to Christmas. Wondering why the third candle is pink.
And FINALLY - Christmas Eve. Dressing up, leaving home in the dark. Caroling outside the church for an hour before service for the people passing by and coming to church. Caroling some more indoors. The beauty of the Christmas story read aloud. Hearing a soloist sing "O Holy Night" and hoping that someday I'd get to sing it (one day, finally, I did). Lighting the Christ candle, and then passing the light of Christ's love from candle to candle through our historic church sanctuary and singing Silent Night together acapella. Watching the familiar faces of friends and family shine with the mystery and beauty of it all as we ended our service in quietness, peace, and candlelit wonder.
And now that I'm older, this season has become even more special than the magical memories it held in my childhood. For now I understand, in a way I didn't then, what this season is really all about.
Advent is a season of waiting. A season of joy, hope, peace, love, wonder - and waiting, expectantly, for something to happen. It's the pathway, the journey to Christmas. And with Christmas, comes radiant, amazing, overwhelming love - in the form of a baby boy, born in a stable. The very Son of God, laid in a manger, here to experience all that we do - and to make a way back to God for us.
God waited a long time to send His Son. He waited for the perfect moment. But while He was waiting, He did some things. He wrote it in the stars, that this baby was coming. Remember the Magi, following that star? Think about the fact that light takes time to travel, and that what you see in the sky is actually something that happened a really, really, REALLY long time ago - and think for a moment: God put a star in the heavens that would point the way to His Son AGES before His Son would be born. Does the wonder of it floor you, even just a little bit? He also promised us that a Saviour would come - His prophets foretold His coming, and His people waited, too. And then, finally - He came. And He is coming again.
For these four weeks of Advent we wait. We remember. We hope, dream, imagine, wonder, experience the mystery that is the gift of God's Son, born in the city of David: Christ the Lord. We sing special songs - songs we sing once a year. We celebrate. We give gifts that echo, tho they could never compare with, the Gift that we've been given. We light candles.
We wait. Quietly, but with great joy.
Last year for Advent, my friend Amanda and I did a devotional study together with a book and a website called The Uncluttered Heart, by Beth A. Richardson. We loved it so much that we've invited our church family to go through it with us this year. Nineteen people have signed up so far! We are super-excited about this. :)
And if you want to join us, we'd love that, too. The Uncluttered Heart website has all the info you need to get started.
Hope to see you there!
and Happy Advent-Eve. :)
you're welcome
Have you ever been in an ordinary run-of-the-mill conversation and found yourself suddenly floored by something you just said?
This happens to me frequently when I'm with close friends, but it's usually in the context of saying something I probably should have run thru the filter first, or saying something to be funny and then joking about, "oh, did I just say that out loud?" But today it happened with two simple words that I've said thousands of times before without thinking about them at all:
"You're welcome."
It's just what you say, when someone says "thank you," right? But think for a minute about what those two words mean when you put them together outside of the generic, rote conversation in which you usually find them. "You're welcome."
You - are welcome. You're welcome.
Wow.
What does that mean? In French, it's "bienvenue," which translates literally to "good coming." You've come well; it's well that you came? I was glad to do what you're thanking me for because I'm happy you're here, that you're a part of my life.
You're welcome here.
My heart's posture toward you is one of welcome.
We say it to a lot of people, strangers and friends alike. But do we mean it?
Food for thought. :)
This happens to me frequently when I'm with close friends, but it's usually in the context of saying something I probably should have run thru the filter first, or saying something to be funny and then joking about, "oh, did I just say that out loud?" But today it happened with two simple words that I've said thousands of times before without thinking about them at all:
"You're welcome."
It's just what you say, when someone says "thank you," right? But think for a minute about what those two words mean when you put them together outside of the generic, rote conversation in which you usually find them. "You're welcome."
You - are welcome. You're welcome.
Wow.
What does that mean? In French, it's "bienvenue," which translates literally to "good coming." You've come well; it's well that you came? I was glad to do what you're thanking me for because I'm happy you're here, that you're a part of my life.
You're welcome here.
My heart's posture toward you is one of welcome.
We say it to a lot of people, strangers and friends alike. But do we mean it?
Food for thought. :)
prayer request
it's been a crazy couple of days. my mom is in the hospital. two days ago she was at work, and she just coughed - and her lung collapsed. she was in surgery within hours. the surgery was successful, but she's going to be in the hospital for a few days, and is in a good deal of pain. and my poor mom - she dislikes hospitals even more than i do.
it's been tough to be so far away. my dad and my sister are there with her, but it's my mom, you know? i just want to be there, even if all i can do is sit and read while she's sleeping, and just keep her company while she's awake.
please pray for my mom. it's going to be a few weeks of recovery, and she's usually such an active person. this is going to be - this IS - really hard for her.
thanks.
it's been tough to be so far away. my dad and my sister are there with her, but it's my mom, you know? i just want to be there, even if all i can do is sit and read while she's sleeping, and just keep her company while she's awake.
please pray for my mom. it's going to be a few weeks of recovery, and she's usually such an active person. this is going to be - this IS - really hard for her.
thanks.
meditation for worship and communion on All Saints Day
I had the privilege of teaching last night at worship and communion, and thought I'd share my thoughts with you as well. :)
On the table next to my bed is a collection of things that are very special to me. I half-jokingly refer to it as an altar, because most of the objects on this table are actually icons - objects that, at least for me, point past themselves to God.
There are a lot of things on this little altar, but here are just a few:
There's a birthday card from a friend and mentor. On the inside, he wrote, "God does have a plan for your life, Happy, and it is greater than your dreams." This card came at a time when I really needed to hear that, and he had no idea how timely his words were. And now, every time I see it, I am reminded that it's true - that God's dreams for me are greater than my own, and that His plan is perfect and can be trusted. The card is an icon that leads me into His presence and inspires me to worship Him for who He is: Jehovah Jireh, my Provider.
Another icon that reminds me of God's provision is a car key. My senior year in college, I took a job - the only job I could find - but it was across town, and I had no way to get there. I was telling a friend about my dilemma, and right then and there, he just gave me his car, for the whole year. His generosity reminds me to be that ridiculously generous, and this key reminds me that even when I can't see a way, God always has a plan and will provide exactly what I need.
There's also a nickel - which reminds me of something a man named John Wimber said once. He said, "I am just a nickel in God's pocket, and He can spend me any way He wants to." That quote really hit me the first time I read it - and comes to mind often (usually when I don't want to be spent the way I'm pretty sure God wants to spend me...) The quote reminds me that I belong to Jesus, not to myself, and that acknowledging His sovereignty - His Lordship over my life - is always the best way to live, and that surrendering my life is actually an act of worship. Again, it's an icon, connected to a story that points me to Jesus.
There are a lot of icons that the church has turned to over the years as well: things like the cross, stained glass images of Bible stories, sometimes even actual church buildings... We have to be careful with icons - it can be easy to turn an icon into an idol if we're not careful. How can you tell if you're doing this? The minute an icon becomes more important to us than the One to whom it is supposed to point us, we're in trouble - but icons can actually be very helpful in assisting us, as His word tells us in Psalm 77, to remember the deeds of the Lord.
It occurred to me as I was thinking about communion this weekend that Jesus gave us an incredible gift in this sacrament that we celebrate. This loaf of bread and this cup are icons that point past themselves to Jesus, and remind us of what He's done. We come to the Table, we see these two things, and we instantly remember that we are saved solely by grace through faith in Christ, and not by anything we've ever done.
This is the story: God's word tells us in Matthew 26 that "while they were eating, Jesus took bread, gave thanks, and broke it, and gave it to His disciples, saying, "Take and eat; this is my body." Then He took the cup, gave thanks, and offered it to them, saying, "Drink from it, all of you. This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins."
We know from Scripture, especially passages like 1 Corinthians 11, in which Paul gives instructions to the church as to how to celebrate it rightly, that the church very early on began to celebrate what God had done for them in Christ by eating bread and drinking the cup together. Communion is a centuries-old feast of remembrance, and in coming to this Table tonight, we do, as Paul says, "proclaim the Lord's death until He comes." We remember the amazing grace that was given to us as Jesus went to the cross for OUR sins, and we give thanks. And we come together, as Christians have always done, because this gift was for ALL of us.
So tonight, as you come to the Table, I simply want to encourage you to stop for a moment and remember. This is a serious moment. We come to this Table with great joy and gratitude, but Paul also warns us to come with a proper mindset. He says, "...whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of sinning against the body and blood of the Lord. A man ought to examine himself before he eats of the bread and drinks of the cup. For anyone who eats and drinks without recognizing the body of the Lord eats and drinks judgment on himself." (1 Cor. 11:27-29)
So let's take a few minutes to pause and reflect. What is it that Lord has done for us? What has He saved us from? Is there any sin in our hearts that we haven't confessed to Him yet? Let's clear that up now, confess what we need to, and receive His forgiveness where we need it. And then come joyfully, together, each of us as we're ready, to celebrate and remember the mercy and the grace that was given to us through His broken body and shed blood, represented by this loaf of bread and this cup - icons that remind us of a very simple, but very profound truth: God loves us.
In the Reformed church, where I spent a lot of time in college, at this point in the service, they say, "come, for all things are now ready." I love that - because the truth is, Jesus HAS prepared this table for you, in the presence of your enemies, and because of His death and resurrection - surely goodness and mercy WILL follow you, all the days of your life, and you will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
So come, for all things are now ready.
On the table next to my bed is a collection of things that are very special to me. I half-jokingly refer to it as an altar, because most of the objects on this table are actually icons - objects that, at least for me, point past themselves to God.
There are a lot of things on this little altar, but here are just a few:
There's a birthday card from a friend and mentor. On the inside, he wrote, "God does have a plan for your life, Happy, and it is greater than your dreams." This card came at a time when I really needed to hear that, and he had no idea how timely his words were. And now, every time I see it, I am reminded that it's true - that God's dreams for me are greater than my own, and that His plan is perfect and can be trusted. The card is an icon that leads me into His presence and inspires me to worship Him for who He is: Jehovah Jireh, my Provider.
Another icon that reminds me of God's provision is a car key. My senior year in college, I took a job - the only job I could find - but it was across town, and I had no way to get there. I was telling a friend about my dilemma, and right then and there, he just gave me his car, for the whole year. His generosity reminds me to be that ridiculously generous, and this key reminds me that even when I can't see a way, God always has a plan and will provide exactly what I need.
There's also a nickel - which reminds me of something a man named John Wimber said once. He said, "I am just a nickel in God's pocket, and He can spend me any way He wants to." That quote really hit me the first time I read it - and comes to mind often (usually when I don't want to be spent the way I'm pretty sure God wants to spend me...) The quote reminds me that I belong to Jesus, not to myself, and that acknowledging His sovereignty - His Lordship over my life - is always the best way to live, and that surrendering my life is actually an act of worship. Again, it's an icon, connected to a story that points me to Jesus.
There are a lot of icons that the church has turned to over the years as well: things like the cross, stained glass images of Bible stories, sometimes even actual church buildings... We have to be careful with icons - it can be easy to turn an icon into an idol if we're not careful. How can you tell if you're doing this? The minute an icon becomes more important to us than the One to whom it is supposed to point us, we're in trouble - but icons can actually be very helpful in assisting us, as His word tells us in Psalm 77, to remember the deeds of the Lord.
It occurred to me as I was thinking about communion this weekend that Jesus gave us an incredible gift in this sacrament that we celebrate. This loaf of bread and this cup are icons that point past themselves to Jesus, and remind us of what He's done. We come to the Table, we see these two things, and we instantly remember that we are saved solely by grace through faith in Christ, and not by anything we've ever done.
This is the story: God's word tells us in Matthew 26 that "while they were eating, Jesus took bread, gave thanks, and broke it, and gave it to His disciples, saying, "Take and eat; this is my body." Then He took the cup, gave thanks, and offered it to them, saying, "Drink from it, all of you. This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins."
We know from Scripture, especially passages like 1 Corinthians 11, in which Paul gives instructions to the church as to how to celebrate it rightly, that the church very early on began to celebrate what God had done for them in Christ by eating bread and drinking the cup together. Communion is a centuries-old feast of remembrance, and in coming to this Table tonight, we do, as Paul says, "proclaim the Lord's death until He comes." We remember the amazing grace that was given to us as Jesus went to the cross for OUR sins, and we give thanks. And we come together, as Christians have always done, because this gift was for ALL of us.
So tonight, as you come to the Table, I simply want to encourage you to stop for a moment and remember. This is a serious moment. We come to this Table with great joy and gratitude, but Paul also warns us to come with a proper mindset. He says, "...whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of sinning against the body and blood of the Lord. A man ought to examine himself before he eats of the bread and drinks of the cup. For anyone who eats and drinks without recognizing the body of the Lord eats and drinks judgment on himself." (1 Cor. 11:27-29)
So let's take a few minutes to pause and reflect. What is it that Lord has done for us? What has He saved us from? Is there any sin in our hearts that we haven't confessed to Him yet? Let's clear that up now, confess what we need to, and receive His forgiveness where we need it. And then come joyfully, together, each of us as we're ready, to celebrate and remember the mercy and the grace that was given to us through His broken body and shed blood, represented by this loaf of bread and this cup - icons that remind us of a very simple, but very profound truth: God loves us.
In the Reformed church, where I spent a lot of time in college, at this point in the service, they say, "come, for all things are now ready." I love that - because the truth is, Jesus HAS prepared this table for you, in the presence of your enemies, and because of His death and resurrection - surely goodness and mercy WILL follow you, all the days of your life, and you will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.
So come, for all things are now ready.
rest in peace
A friend of mine died on Monday. It was an automobile accident, late at night, very sudden, very unexpected.
I didn't know him super well, not nearly as well as many of my friends did, but he was a great guy. Shy. Quiet.
Completely in love with the Lord.
And now he's home.
It's a little unreal.
My heart is breaking for the people who knew him best. Who will miss him more than I can imagine missing anyone. Who will need to say Kaddish.
Rest in peace, Rylan. We are so very glad for you that you are home with Him, but you will be greatly missed.
I didn't know him super well, not nearly as well as many of my friends did, but he was a great guy. Shy. Quiet.
Completely in love with the Lord.
And now he's home.
It's a little unreal.
My heart is breaking for the people who knew him best. Who will miss him more than I can imagine missing anyone. Who will need to say Kaddish.
Rest in peace, Rylan. We are so very glad for you that you are home with Him, but you will be greatly missed.
Happy Birthday, Torch Church!
It's hard to believe it's been a whole year already. It's been a wild ride, and full of God's favor. Here are a few fun facts in honor of Torch's first birthday:
1) 80 people gave their lives to Jesus this year at Torch.
2) We have gone from being a young adult ministry to being a multi-generational and ethnically diverse community in only a year.
3) We STILL have new people coming almost every week. (They don't always come back, but sometimes they do!) We began with a core group of about 40 people - some of whom are no longer with us - and our weekly attendance now averages 70-100 people per week.
4) It has not rained or snowed in any significant way during load-in or load-out AT ALL for an ENTIRE year of Sundays. (What are the odds of that?!)
For all its trials and tribulations, it has been one amazing year. We've all grown up a lot, I think - there was so much we didn't know when we started, and some of the learning curves were tough. We've learned - sometimes by fire - the importance of community, of intentionality in relationship, of sometimes setting aside the never-ending task lists to just hang out and have fun - and we have seen the glory of God on display in our services and in the refining He's done in our lives as we've brought our hearts and our giftings and offered them to Him. It's been a truly incredible year.
Next year looks to be pretty exciting, too... I'm looking forward to new adventures in simply trusting God, and doing the next thing. ;)
random ramblings, vol. 4
Seven random glimpses into Happyland, as I try to wind down from a late evening and very obviously not decaffeinated soy chai latte:
2. I pulled my first all-nighter in I-don't-know-how-long this weekend, in a successful effort to finish the painting that needed to get done for our new stage look. It turned out even better than I'd hoped. Still, I am looking forward to not pulling an all-nighter again for quite some time. If ever. :)
3. I made applesauce today. I forgot how much I enjoy doing that.
4. If you haven't seen it yet, and you're a woman blogger, please go see Julie and Julia. It was a great movie. Cooking and blogging. How much better does it get? :) It was also incredibly refreshing to watch a movie that involved two healthy marriages. And I thought it had a pretty accurate take on the delicate balance of blogging and real life. That's all I'm going to say about it right now, but feel free to discuss in the comments. :)
5. Today was an incredibly restful day. A little bit of productivity complemented by a walk and talk with a good friend and an unexpected hang-out time with two other good friends who just happened to be sitting outside at the local coffee shop as I pulled thru the drive-thru (on an unsuccessful hunt for a Maple Scone. they are so good you have to get them in the morning, or they're gone.).
6. I found a copy of I.Q. tonight for $5.00. And yes, it is a $5 sort of movie, but it is still one of my favorites. :)
7. I'm re-reading Madeleine L'Engle's A Circle of Quiet. If you are looking for deep, thought-provoking reading material that leaves you feeling more like yourself than you were when you started.... well, when you put it that way, the Bible is really better for that than anything, but A Circle of Quiet is an excellent complement. :)
home again, home again
Yesterday was about as close to a perfect day as any day can get. Good music, good weather, good friends, 7 hours in the car... :)
Highlights of the road trip:
* spending an hour or so on the beach at Lake Michigan, reading, napping, listening to the waves, just being (which was possibly the best part of the day altogether, tho I loved the rest of it too!)
* a great deal at a book store - 2 books and 5 cds for $40! :)
* catching up with 2 of my old roommates, whom I haven't seen in almost 2 years
* celebrating two years of birthdays and Christmases with Jeni in the middle of June (yay, presents!)
* dinner at The Curragh, a terrific Irish pub
* seeing Josh Schicker, an old friend from college, in concert (shameless plug: you should check out his stuff on ITunes - he's very talented)
* sunshine!!!! - which seems like a silly thing to celebrate, but it's been pouring rain for days, and it's cloudy again - so one whole day of sunshine was wonderful. :)
No matter where I go in this world, West Michigan will always be home. I'm not sure how to explain it or even why it's so - but the minute I cross the Michigan border, I just start to feel happier. (pun intended, lol) I smile for the last hour and a half of driving. Katie says I even walk differently when I'm home. Lighter. More free. And especially on the beach there - I just feel more like me than I do anywhere else. I'm not sure why that is, but thank You, Jesus, for the gift of one more day spent there. I needed that.
Highlights of the road trip:
* spending an hour or so on the beach at Lake Michigan, reading, napping, listening to the waves, just being (which was possibly the best part of the day altogether, tho I loved the rest of it too!)
* a great deal at a book store - 2 books and 5 cds for $40! :)
* catching up with 2 of my old roommates, whom I haven't seen in almost 2 years
* celebrating two years of birthdays and Christmases with Jeni in the middle of June (yay, presents!)
* dinner at The Curragh, a terrific Irish pub
* seeing Josh Schicker, an old friend from college, in concert (shameless plug: you should check out his stuff on ITunes - he's very talented)
* sunshine!!!! - which seems like a silly thing to celebrate, but it's been pouring rain for days, and it's cloudy again - so one whole day of sunshine was wonderful. :)
No matter where I go in this world, West Michigan will always be home. I'm not sure how to explain it or even why it's so - but the minute I cross the Michigan border, I just start to feel happier. (pun intended, lol) I smile for the last hour and a half of driving. Katie says I even walk differently when I'm home. Lighter. More free. And especially on the beach there - I just feel more like me than I do anywhere else. I'm not sure why that is, but thank You, Jesus, for the gift of one more day spent there. I needed that.
the power of an encouraging word
I was sort of a part of a rather long conversation centered around Psalm 12 tonight. (And as a side note, I will say that I am slightly amused that the notes under the heading mention that the psalm was given to the director of music - the idea of singing about the themes in Psalm 12 is... well, I'm just not sure what sort of music you would quite put it to in a modern context. It would make for an interesting morning in church tho.) :)
The conversation wandered largely along the lines of how our words affect people, the differences between "flattery" (as it comes from a deceitful heart (not to be confused with genuine compliments)) and "encouragement" (which can include genuine compliments, and comes from a heart of love). Someone asked if we could think of a time when someone said something, even in passing, that caused us a lot of hurt. Mmm-hmm. But then, I can also think of times when people have said things that have encouraged me so much that I've either memorized the words, or saved them somewhere I know I can easily find them again.
"There are more colours on the palette of your soul than you have even begun to paint with."
"You have deep gifts and a deeper heart, and God will not allow you to go unused in His kingdom."
"I am so proud of you."
"You're one of the good ones."
"Recording with Happy is like coming out of the shower on a really cold day, wrapped in a really soft bathrobe, and walking into the kitchen to find that your mom just made you chicken noodle soup for lunch."
"It's not about marketability; if it was, Happy would have been married 10 years ago."
"Girl, you've got chutspa!"
"You are one of the most loyal people I know."
"God does have a plan for your life, Happy, and it is greater than your dreams."
I have had the very good fortune of having very good friends. And I have been so blessed by their speech. I wonder if they even know that? I hope so.
Just this week I got a letter from one of my favorite people - who actually is responsible for four of those quotes, plus countless others. Most of it was just newsy - but what made me smile was the way that after 4 years of distance in a 9 year friendship, he's still cheering me on, and believing in God's plan for my life.
Do I do that? Do I speak life into people? Do I tell them what they do well? Do I cheer with them when they see a victory, no matter how trivial it may seem? I hope so. I try to. But I'm sure I can do better. Something to think about anyway.
What "good words" have encouraged you? Tag, you're it. I want to hear about it. :)
international women's day syncroblog/syncrosermon
Julie over at one hand clapping has suggested a syncroblog for International Women's Day, which is March 8th. As Julie writes, "Too often in the church not only are the voices of women not heard, but the stories of biblical women remain untold. But the Bible is full of inspiring examples of women faithfully following God and making a tremendous difference for the Kingdom" - so why not celebrate the day by retelling some of those stories and the impact(s) they have had on our lives?
If you'd like to participate, please follow the link to Julie's blog and leave a comment on her post, so she can include your blog on the list of participants. Here are the "official" guidelines, as Julie has posted them:
"Synchroblog - on March 8 post something on your blog about biblical women. This could be your experience (or lack thereof) with learning about these women, a reflection on the life of a particular woman, an exploration of the ways women led in scripture, or a midrashic retelling of the life of one of these women. Have fun with it, push yourself to discover new things, and let’s tell these stories together.
Synchrosermon - these stories of women are rarely told from the pulpit, so I encourage those of you preaching or teaching on March 8 to include the stories of biblical women in whatever you do. The church often wont hear about these women or learn from their example, unless pastors and teachers make a deliberate effort to dwell on the mothers of our faith as much as they usually dwell on the fathers."
I'm really looking forward to partcipating in this, and to an excellent day of good reading. :)
If you'd like to participate, please follow the link to Julie's blog and leave a comment on her post, so she can include your blog on the list of participants. Here are the "official" guidelines, as Julie has posted them:
"Synchroblog - on March 8 post something on your blog about biblical women. This could be your experience (or lack thereof) with learning about these women, a reflection on the life of a particular woman, an exploration of the ways women led in scripture, or a midrashic retelling of the life of one of these women. Have fun with it, push yourself to discover new things, and let’s tell these stories together.
Synchrosermon - these stories of women are rarely told from the pulpit, so I encourage those of you preaching or teaching on March 8 to include the stories of biblical women in whatever you do. The church often wont hear about these women or learn from their example, unless pastors and teachers make a deliberate effort to dwell on the mothers of our faith as much as they usually dwell on the fathers."
I'm really looking forward to partcipating in this, and to an excellent day of good reading. :)
healing, community, and the poverty of availability
I've had an incredibly sweet week in my devotional life. I've been using a website called Sacred Space, a prayer site run by the Irish Jesuits. Every day, it takes you through a 10-15 minute prayer journey that includes a passage on which to read and reflect, and then there's another page called Living Space that includes other suggested readings and commentary on those passages. In spite of occasional theological differences (as I am not Catholic), I have been richly blessed by this site - God has spoken to me so clearly and compassionately through it this week.
A phrase from one of the commentaries earlier this week really captured my attention: the 'poverty of availability'. The commentary is on Mark 1:29-39, which tells the story of the time Jesus went with his disciples to stay at Peter's house, and found Peter's mother-in-law very ill with a fever. Jesus healed her immediately, and she was able to serve them and offer them the hospitality they needed. That evening, the whole city showed up at their door, and Jesus spent hours ministering to the sick and the demon-possessed. Then, in the middle of the night, Jesus got up and went off on His own to pray for awhile. Early the next morning, his disciples came looking for Him, to tell Him that everyone was looking for Him - but He told them it was time to move on to the other villages, so He could preach there too. "It is why I have come," He said.
Jesus had been preaching in the synagogue in Capernaum on the Sabbath when an evil spirit identified Him as the Holy One of God. He silenced the demon and cast it out. Mark 1: 21-28 tells us that everyone was amazed because He taught with authority and was able to give orders to evil spirits. They had never seen - or heard - anything like it. The news spread like wildfire, and as soon as the Sabbath was over, the whole town showed up to see Him.
How incredibly blessed Jesus must have been to have a place to go before that. Peter's house must have been a welcome haven - a quiet place to rest for a bit, on that day of rest. The commentary I read suggested that He healed Peter's mother-in-law, not just for her own sake, tho certainly that was part of it - but because healing enabled her to become an active part of their community. She was able to serve them - as Jesus, in turn, served the people who showed up at the door. Her ministry mattered. It may have seemed a collection of small, everyday, ordinary tasks - but her ability to engage in them mattered to Jesus, and to her family, and to their friends.
Jesus engaged with so many people that day. The man in the synagogue and Peter's mother-in-law were just the beginning. Person after un-well person came to the door to see Him that day - hurting, tired, frightened, in need. And He met with each of them, meeting their eyes, touching their shoulders, holding their hands, casting out the demons who had so long oppressed them. How many people walked away from those encounters with new life, a new spring in their step, hope for the first time in ages? And how did their changed lives affect the lives of those around them?
But it cost Him something. Time. Energy. He needed His own renewal -and so He pursued it, quietly, on His own, with His Father. And while there were still many people who would put demands on His time, who wanted to be with Him, to wanted to talk to Him - He would not be distracted from His mission: to preach the good news of the gospel. And so He went on to other villages.
There is so much to learn from all of this.
Being available to people carries with it its own sort of poverty. It can drain you, being there for people, doing your job, getting everything done that you need to do. There are times when we run so hard and so fast that it lands us flat on our backs in bed with a fever - sometimes literally, tho maybe more often figuratively - when we are rendered incapable of doing one more thing for anybody. Finding balance is essential - not just for our own well-being, but for everyone else's as well. Getting enough sleep, exercising, eating well - all the things we know we "should" do but aren't always very disciplined at pursuing - do actually matter. When we don't do them over a sustained period of time we get sick - we need healing - we become unable to serve as we could, we aren't able to "show up" - and our community - whether it's family, work, or church - suffers loss because of our lack of health. Taking time to shush, and to wait - to sit at God's feet, listening to Him speak, and resting in His Presence - is essential if we're to be spiritually healthy; if we don't do it, we end up running on our own strength instead of ministering out of His - and we "burn out" - mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually - and find ourselves again in need of healing, and our community feeling the effects.
The interconnectedness fascinates me: the idea that God heals us (whether physically, spiritually, emotionally, or mentally (correcting our wrong ways of thinking) - and there's even an interconnectedness of those four things within us!) not just for our sakes, tho He does love us that much, but so that we can be an active part of what He is doing in the world, and that time spent with Him in solitude matters so that we can minister more effectively... it's all wrapped up together - healing and rest, availability, service. And as usual, everything He's doing in me isn't about me at all, but about His kingdom... and yet it blesses me too. I love these quiet moments in my week, when I can simply get away and be with Him, resting, reading, reflecting, breathing... healing. They matter - to me, and to Jesus. But they also matter to His kingdom, tho I may never actually see how for quite awhile.
A phrase from one of the commentaries earlier this week really captured my attention: the 'poverty of availability'. The commentary is on Mark 1:29-39, which tells the story of the time Jesus went with his disciples to stay at Peter's house, and found Peter's mother-in-law very ill with a fever. Jesus healed her immediately, and she was able to serve them and offer them the hospitality they needed. That evening, the whole city showed up at their door, and Jesus spent hours ministering to the sick and the demon-possessed. Then, in the middle of the night, Jesus got up and went off on His own to pray for awhile. Early the next morning, his disciples came looking for Him, to tell Him that everyone was looking for Him - but He told them it was time to move on to the other villages, so He could preach there too. "It is why I have come," He said.
Jesus had been preaching in the synagogue in Capernaum on the Sabbath when an evil spirit identified Him as the Holy One of God. He silenced the demon and cast it out. Mark 1: 21-28 tells us that everyone was amazed because He taught with authority and was able to give orders to evil spirits. They had never seen - or heard - anything like it. The news spread like wildfire, and as soon as the Sabbath was over, the whole town showed up to see Him.
How incredibly blessed Jesus must have been to have a place to go before that. Peter's house must have been a welcome haven - a quiet place to rest for a bit, on that day of rest. The commentary I read suggested that He healed Peter's mother-in-law, not just for her own sake, tho certainly that was part of it - but because healing enabled her to become an active part of their community. She was able to serve them - as Jesus, in turn, served the people who showed up at the door. Her ministry mattered. It may have seemed a collection of small, everyday, ordinary tasks - but her ability to engage in them mattered to Jesus, and to her family, and to their friends.
Jesus engaged with so many people that day. The man in the synagogue and Peter's mother-in-law were just the beginning. Person after un-well person came to the door to see Him that day - hurting, tired, frightened, in need. And He met with each of them, meeting their eyes, touching their shoulders, holding their hands, casting out the demons who had so long oppressed them. How many people walked away from those encounters with new life, a new spring in their step, hope for the first time in ages? And how did their changed lives affect the lives of those around them?
But it cost Him something. Time. Energy. He needed His own renewal -and so He pursued it, quietly, on His own, with His Father. And while there were still many people who would put demands on His time, who wanted to be with Him, to wanted to talk to Him - He would not be distracted from His mission: to preach the good news of the gospel. And so He went on to other villages.
There is so much to learn from all of this.
Being available to people carries with it its own sort of poverty. It can drain you, being there for people, doing your job, getting everything done that you need to do. There are times when we run so hard and so fast that it lands us flat on our backs in bed with a fever - sometimes literally, tho maybe more often figuratively - when we are rendered incapable of doing one more thing for anybody. Finding balance is essential - not just for our own well-being, but for everyone else's as well. Getting enough sleep, exercising, eating well - all the things we know we "should" do but aren't always very disciplined at pursuing - do actually matter. When we don't do them over a sustained period of time we get sick - we need healing - we become unable to serve as we could, we aren't able to "show up" - and our community - whether it's family, work, or church - suffers loss because of our lack of health. Taking time to shush, and to wait - to sit at God's feet, listening to Him speak, and resting in His Presence - is essential if we're to be spiritually healthy; if we don't do it, we end up running on our own strength instead of ministering out of His - and we "burn out" - mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually - and find ourselves again in need of healing, and our community feeling the effects.
The interconnectedness fascinates me: the idea that God heals us (whether physically, spiritually, emotionally, or mentally (correcting our wrong ways of thinking) - and there's even an interconnectedness of those four things within us!) not just for our sakes, tho He does love us that much, but so that we can be an active part of what He is doing in the world, and that time spent with Him in solitude matters so that we can minister more effectively... it's all wrapped up together - healing and rest, availability, service. And as usual, everything He's doing in me isn't about me at all, but about His kingdom... and yet it blesses me too. I love these quiet moments in my week, when I can simply get away and be with Him, resting, reading, reflecting, breathing... healing. They matter - to me, and to Jesus. But they also matter to His kingdom, tho I may never actually see how for quite awhile.
institutional whatnot
Manuela asked me the other day if I was in or out of the institutional church, and referenced the fact that my oh-so-informative profile lists my "industry" as "religion." I have to say that really, I think that's kind of funny, tho there's a sense in which it's true, but I guess it all does bear a little more explanation, especially for a few of my newer readers, and actually for almost all of you, as I have some rather exciting news, which I can finally share. ;)
The past year has been quite a journey. I am rather amazed at some of the unexpected twists and turns my road has taken; I would not have seen any of this coming. So Sara - remember how about a year ago you said my life would look totally different by Christmas? I stand by what I said - you are too prophetic... lol. :)
I left what I suppose you would call the "institutional church" last May. I didn't mean to. It was sort of an accident. I wrestled with it some over the summer (I wrote about it here), but for the past few months I have been pretty much at peace with it. A year ago I started leading worship every other week for my church - but between that and grad school and working full time and being the worship director for Torch - I was too busy. All of the things I was doing for God were taking so much time that I didn't have enough time to spend at His feet, and I, to put it quite simply, burned out. So I quit. I quit pretty much everything I was doing except my job and what I do for Torch. I started biking. I took a week-long road trip with Jesus. And what started as just taking a break from the Sunday morning routine ended up being a more permanent thing. I just never went back.
But what I said in that post about Torch was very true - it has been enough. Torch was the college and young adult group at my church, and I've been its worship director for almost two years. We have a Monday night service, and on Tuesday nights I go to what we call mini-church - a small group, essentially, just a few people who get together and talk about life and study the Bible together. Every other Thursday I go to a more formal study group called Fierce, and we meet with our pastor and study things like prophetic ministry and teaching. Once a month a larger group called Joshua's Army, which is many of the core leaders of our ministry, meets for dinner and talks about a book - we've read books about everything from leadership to finances to pursuing a deeper walk with God. Add in all the phone conversations and dinners and hang-out nights and outreach projects and prayer meetings, etc. - and it's been church. Church, in many, many ways, as it should be. We pray, worship, work, play, live, study, laugh and cry together. Are we perfect? Far from it. But this amazing group of people with whom I've been doing ministry are my church family.
And now they're officially so. As of January 1st, Torch is no longer a ministry under the umbrella of a larger church, but is, in fact, a church plant! For awhile, nothing will look all that different - we will still meet on Mondays rather than on the weekends, and we will still do everything else that we've been doing. But this summer we'll start weekend services, and who knows what God will do with us? :)
It's going to be one exciting journey.
So, yes. I've been "out" of the IC for awhile, and now I guess I'm back "in" again - and yet... I haven't been out of it, either, because really, at the end of the day, the church has never been a building, or a place to go. The church, as the song says, is really just people... You know the old fingerplay: This is the church, this is the steeple, open the doors, but where are the people? Well, God willing, they're out there. Living life, being a community that radically loves each other and reaches out to be the hands and feet of Christ to their friends and neighbors. I know that where Torch wants to be. And while I am dreaming of the day that we have our own space - a place to gather and to worship - a place to store all my chord charts other than my closet (lol) - and a place from which to send people out (all over the world!) - in the meantime, it's actually kind of cool to not have a building. Tho not having an address makes filling out some of the paperwork a bit interesting... ;)
The past year has been quite a journey. I am rather amazed at some of the unexpected twists and turns my road has taken; I would not have seen any of this coming. So Sara - remember how about a year ago you said my life would look totally different by Christmas? I stand by what I said - you are too prophetic... lol. :)
I left what I suppose you would call the "institutional church" last May. I didn't mean to. It was sort of an accident. I wrestled with it some over the summer (I wrote about it here), but for the past few months I have been pretty much at peace with it. A year ago I started leading worship every other week for my church - but between that and grad school and working full time and being the worship director for Torch - I was too busy. All of the things I was doing for God were taking so much time that I didn't have enough time to spend at His feet, and I, to put it quite simply, burned out. So I quit. I quit pretty much everything I was doing except my job and what I do for Torch. I started biking. I took a week-long road trip with Jesus. And what started as just taking a break from the Sunday morning routine ended up being a more permanent thing. I just never went back.
But what I said in that post about Torch was very true - it has been enough. Torch was the college and young adult group at my church, and I've been its worship director for almost two years. We have a Monday night service, and on Tuesday nights I go to what we call mini-church - a small group, essentially, just a few people who get together and talk about life and study the Bible together. Every other Thursday I go to a more formal study group called Fierce, and we meet with our pastor and study things like prophetic ministry and teaching. Once a month a larger group called Joshua's Army, which is many of the core leaders of our ministry, meets for dinner and talks about a book - we've read books about everything from leadership to finances to pursuing a deeper walk with God. Add in all the phone conversations and dinners and hang-out nights and outreach projects and prayer meetings, etc. - and it's been church. Church, in many, many ways, as it should be. We pray, worship, work, play, live, study, laugh and cry together. Are we perfect? Far from it. But this amazing group of people with whom I've been doing ministry are my church family.
And now they're officially so. As of January 1st, Torch is no longer a ministry under the umbrella of a larger church, but is, in fact, a church plant! For awhile, nothing will look all that different - we will still meet on Mondays rather than on the weekends, and we will still do everything else that we've been doing. But this summer we'll start weekend services, and who knows what God will do with us? :)
It's going to be one exciting journey.
So, yes. I've been "out" of the IC for awhile, and now I guess I'm back "in" again - and yet... I haven't been out of it, either, because really, at the end of the day, the church has never been a building, or a place to go. The church, as the song says, is really just people... You know the old fingerplay: This is the church, this is the steeple, open the doors, but where are the people? Well, God willing, they're out there. Living life, being a community that radically loves each other and reaches out to be the hands and feet of Christ to their friends and neighbors. I know that where Torch wants to be. And while I am dreaming of the day that we have our own space - a place to gather and to worship - a place to store all my chord charts other than my closet (lol) - and a place from which to send people out (all over the world!) - in the meantime, it's actually kind of cool to not have a building. Tho not having an address makes filling out some of the paperwork a bit interesting... ;)
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