waiting for the light to change...

I had an interesting experience this evening ...er...morning... on my way home from Stephie's. Those of you who know me well know that I have a tendency to not really pay attention to where I'm going when I'm driving, particularly if I'm thinking about something. I had rather a lot I was thinking about - all at the same time - lost track of where I was, and turned a bit too soon. I noticed as soon as I was halfway around the corner that it was the wrong road, and thought shoot. what have I done? I was now headed in completely the opposite direction of home, and I rather wanted to get there.

And God said, "Hap, sometimes life is like this. You think you're headed one way, and then the road will take an unexpected turn. You're still going where you're going - you are just getting there a different way."

I wanted to turn around and go back the way I'd come; I was pretty sure the way I'd meant to go home was quicker, as it led, you know... home. As opposed to the opposite direction. But God said, "No. I have something for you on this road."

So I kept driving. Looking at the clock. Wondering what on earth I was doing, driving the "wrong" way at 12:30am and wondering if this really was God, or if I was being an idiot. Finally I came to the intersection towards the end of this road where I could turn onto the road that would take me home. And the light was red.

Now the interesting thing about this particular intersection is that there's train tracks that run through it, so you have to stop on this side of the train tracks before you get to the actual intersection. So here I am, sitting at a red light behind empty train tracks, looking yards ahead to the intersection I need to turn left through, and watching the occasional car go through it... and the light I am facing stays red.

For a really, really, really long time.

I started to get a little impatient. I started to get a little annoyed. And the guy behind me started to honk at me. At which point I said, out loud (because, of course, talking to the people in other cars that annoy you is ever so helpful), "The light is red! It's not like I can do anything about it! Seriously...." And I gave up. And sat there, while people around me got antsy.

And then the light turned green.

And it seemed to me, right then, to be the perfect metaphor for my life. In so many areas, I feel like I was headed one way, and ended up taking a "wrong" turn somewhere (a turn that may not have been as wrong as I'd thought) - but now I am sitting at a ridiculously long red light, wondering what in the world I am doing here anyway, and waiting for the light to change - yet somehow still certain that in spite of the oddness of this moment, it is, for some reason, exactly where I should be just now...

I don't know what to make of that.

But here I sit. Waiting for the light to change.

And I imagine that as I wait here, the Light will change me.