7 Quick Takes Friday (vol.2): The Fighting Buffalo Edition

Well, I'd meant to blog this week, I really did - but hey, 7 Quick Takes it is.  (Thanks again for hosting, Jen!)

1.)  I've learned a lot this week about conflict resolution:

    a) I am still really bad at it.  but...
    b) I'm better than I used to be!

So on the upside - I actually chose to confront someone when I was angry this week.

On the downside - I did it really badly.

So please allow me to present you with a few Happy Guidelines To Better Fights:

2.)  Never fight over email.  Your tone-of-voice in an argument matters - and no matter how clear and logical you think you're being,  the truth is that if you are in any way, shape, or form irritated, it will come off that way.  In person, no matter how difficult, will always be better.  Your facial expressions, classic tells, and your heart will come thru sooooooo much better in person.

3.) Don't assume your perspective is accurate.  You're mad.  So of course you're right.  (and, um, no.... you're not.  Your perspective is only half of "what just happened there"...

4.) Ask questions.  Seek to understand.  So something someone said torqued you off...  Why?  And why did they say it?  Did they mean what you think they meant?  Or are you having a bad day?  (All of a sudden.  Which can happen.  Usually because there's something going on under the surface of which you weren't aware.)

5.) Assume good intent.  If the person you're fighting with is a good friend, it's likely there's been some kind of miscommunication at the heart of whatever the "real" issue appears to be. Again - ask questions.  Have the guts to say to his/her face: "This is what I heard you say, and this is how I feel about it."  But be prepared to hear that you heard wrong in the first place.

6.) At the end of the day, what matters is unity.  Not being right.  Not being wrong.  Just... getting it right.  Back to good.  Back to the way it's supposed to be.

and  7.) Never underestimate the power of a good, well-timed, and heart-felt laugh.  It can make or break your day, no matter what's happened in it.

So, say... for an extremely random example...  you were once chased by a bison.  But you later found out that other people have tamed them, and had adventures while riding them that inspired songs.  Which may or may not be available for purchase on iTunes.

You could find yourself spending more time that it's worth watching videos like this one, and laughing hysterically (which is always good for you):

Who knew buffalo were so handy against (were)wolves?


Faith said...

What a strange video! "Cheaper than adoption" - ha! Good tips for conflict resolution, too - sorry you had to learn the hard way :(, but at least you can walk free now. Have a great weekend!

Happy said...

I think my favorite part was "Not gonna happen, man. You're ridin' on a buffalo, remember?"

And yeah... definitely learned the hard way experientially this week (in spite of already "knowing" all that stuff in my head) - but I got a lot of grace in the midst of it, so that was pretty awesome. And it does say something when at the end of the argument and all is forgiven and you've moved on, the person you just fought with says, "By the way - I'm really proud of you for confronting me right away and not stewing on this for days."

Progress. Yes! Now all I have to do is learn to be logical... ;)