leaving on a fast train

except it was actually going fairly slowly when I jumped off, which turned out to be a good thing...

A recent conversation with Ruth over at grains of truth about the prophetic and particularly how it relates to inquiring of the Lord about specific things got me thinking about a dream I had this winter. I've asked God for visions and dreams at different points in my walk, and sometimes He's said yes, and other times He's said no, and sometimes they've come unbidden. (Sara was there when I woke up from the first one. It was quite a morning.) I very rarely remember my dreams when I wake up unless they're weird or prophetic - and I can still count on one hand the number of dreams I've had that I would label prophetic. But this one... It came during a season this winter in which I was asking God to speak to me through my dreams, and He was generally saying, "Hap, you don't sleep enough as it is - why would I wake you up? We'll talk in the morning..."

I'd actually forgotten all about it, until a friend of mine was talking about a series of dreams she had where she was in various train stations - and all of a sudden it came flooding back in great detail, and I felt it was extremely important to write it down. It still seems to me, months later, like there is something that God wants to say to me through this:

The station was in a wooded area - I believe it was a sunny day. Felt like it was the middle of nowhere, dirt/sand road leading up to the station through a tunnel of trees, tho my sense is it was not so far from some sort of smaller town. Wide platform, nice building, wood floors, lots of windows - nice. The kind of train station you don't mind waiting about in.

I was ready to leave wherever I'd been, and this was the way I was going. It wasn't an "oh, I've got to get out of here" panic-type departure but it was more of a quiet "it's time to go and I'm happy about this" sort of thing.

So the train comes and we all get on, and it's fairly spacious, not crowded or anything, but it doesn't leave right away. It just sits there. We're not sure why it's not moving, but it's not, and so everyone's hanging out and being really good sports about it (no one was in a hurry at all), and we're all getting to know the other people on the train. I remember there were two really nice older ladies and some guy nearby us that I was talking with, and we were talking about where I was going, I think, but I don't remember anything about it now. Finally the train starts to pull out of the station, and as it's picking up speed, all of a sudden, I yell, "WAIT!!! WAIT!! I have to get OFF!" - and again, it wasn't panic or anything, but I just knew that I knew that I knew that I needed to get off the train. The conviction was intense - not an awful "i'm in the wrong place" sort of thing, but just a really, really strong belief that I needed to get off.

Well, the engineer wouldn't stop the train, but the conductor opened the doors while the train was moving, and I jumped out, and the people on the train were all cheering me on, even though they totally didn't understand why I was getting off. They all wished me well and waved as the train disappeared down the tracks, and I put my backpack on, and started hiking up the road, away from the station and into the woods.

I'd be curious to know if any of you have any insight into this...


Delirious said...

I don't know that I have any insights, but I think this dream may just be an expression of how you feel. You have a desire to take a different path than other people.

I've had meaningful dreams, but very few that I really felt were actual communications from God. My mother often had dreams that were, and my husband does, but for some reason, God speaks to me in a different way, not in dreams.

But your dream did remind me of one that my mother had. At this time in her life, she was concerned about one of my teenage brothers. In the dream, we were travelling somewhere together as a family. As we were getting ready to leave, my mother looked up and saw my brother on a different bus. She was worried because she was afraid he was going to the wrong place. I think it was at this point she woke up, and the thought came to her to not worry about him. He may take a different path than other people, but he will make it to the right place in the end. I have to say that this has come to pass. He is a little bit different than most people, I think he was actually born a century too late..lol....but he is a good person.

I've also had dreams that I was unsure whether they were from God or not. Recently I dreamed that I was travelling and didn't have a place to sleep, so decided to sleep in my car. About 3 in the morning I woke up and looked outside my car and saw the spirit of my dog, who died a year ago, laying on the ground protecting me. It was very meaningful to me, but I'm still unsure about whether in fact it could be true.

I did read some of Sigmund Freud's Interpretations of Dreams. It is really true that our inner most feelings do come out in our dreams. On the face of it, your dreams seems to be this kind, but I'm no authority. lol

Ruth said...

There is definitely some meaning to pull out of this dream. It reminds my of the house buying nightmare
I had a few months ago.

Like in my dream, it seems the Lord is revealing to you what you already know in your heart. But he wants you to identify it, make a decision in your heart and be ready to act on it when the time comes.

I think Delirious is right about possibly taking a different path than other people. And yes, I beleive that our inner feelings come out in our dreams - they tell us a story about ourselves so it is wise to take note. This particual dream seems God inspired - it's tells a lot and it points to the future.

Happy - I posted another reply to you over at our discussion and I just noticed that it never saved so I will try again.

Nate said...

Give me a day or two to thinka bout it, and if interested, pop me a comment reminding me. I forget lots of stuff. I am Jon's brother Nate my the way.
Not a big Apples to Apples fan, so you probably did not see me in that posting, but I would be everywhere else on his blog.

Happy said...

Hey, Nate! Thanks - I will definitely pop by and remind you. :) I've seen you about over at Faintnot's, too, I think... Looking forward to hearing what you have to say.

Delirious - i think you have a valid point about dreams in general - i've definitely had my share of wild, "oh wow, i know *exactly* where that came from" sorts of dreams, in terms of things/people/events popping up and expressing how I feel or how they feel in real life about various things - and there *is* a very real sense in which I do live my life based on those gut "I know that I know that I know" that I have to do such-and-such (at times quite to the consternation of my various roommates over the years!) but this one... I don't know. At first I took it to be referring to something in particular, but my pastor thinks there's more to it, and I find myself fairly certain that he may be right.

I'm *not* someone who generally wants to take a different path... I'm pretty "let's stay in the mainstream and not make waves" - for all that I'm a closet innovator... but I've been feeling a major shift coming for months now, seen the signs, started to experience this vague expectancy that something really cool and really major is just around the corner... and I don't know what it is, or how to explain it better than that. It feels like there just might *be* a new road to walk... just not sure what it is.

Does any of that make sense? (I should not be posting anything before finishing my first cup of coffee... when will I learn this?!) :D

Ruth - I thought of you as I put this up, remembering your house dream and what a brave thing that was for you to put that out there, and how blessed a few of us were to speak into that for you and to see how God used it in your life. I am pretty blessed to know you. :) Thanks for all your wise words - especially lately. Email forthcoming. :)

Happy Sunday, everyone!