I think right now the fundamental shift I need to make is from sheer exhaustion to Sabbath rest. Recently I took a trip to Alaska with my family, and over the first couple of days I did pretty much nothing. I read Bonhoeffer's Reflections on the Psalms. I slept - a lot. I worked out. I listened to music. I just...was.
It was nice.
Lately there has been very little just existing and very much running around like crazy. Even today, Sunday, is less than restful. Okay, I suppose sitting here and writing is restful - but I should be writing papers, or planning the set for Emerge this week, or .... "should." Maybe that's the word that really troubles me.
I "should" do this, that or the other thing....
"The expectations upon me are...."
But what does God expect? If I were following that a little more closely, I think perhaps I would not be quite so tired.